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authenticity Featured Holistic Inspired Love Non-Binary Transitions

Spirituality for Gender Non-Conforming People?

By Hollis Taylor

When I first began on my path of gender-bending, drag, and general queerness I consistently would feel that connections lacked depth. I was desiring something much deeper than how to apply a beard with spirit gum, walk like a man, or find a supportive community. It was great that we could connect into safe communities yet I was still seeking something deeper. I found myself reading articles about how ancient and indigenous cultures treated their gender-variant people as shamans or spiritual guides! I often found myself wondering how my friends in the queer community felt about spirituality. When I asked them I was disappointed by what I heard. Some would take the time to explain that most religions see us as evil, that by bending gender we are essentially ‘the evil ones’. Some of my friends even celebrated their desire to ‘corrupt’ and would make tons of jokes about it. Then I began to distinguish the difference between religions and spirituality and some queer friends got it right away.

I would find myself in sad conversations with other spiritual gender variant people. It would turn out that a lot of us felt like we had no place in the world, much less no right to claim any spiritual path. When I spent time in prayer about this I found that my call to spirituality was for a very important reason. No, I didn’t need to get on hormones to change how my body appeared and nor did I need surgery. NO, I needed to write a book! I resisted and self-sabotaged for years and eventually with a community to support me I was able to finally produce a book that would hopefully empower gender-variant people to explore their spiritual path. The book, Divine Androgyne: A Sacred Path for Gender Variant People, outlines the steps that can be taken over time to help us get in touch with our authentic path. That was my first step and now as I pray more I get that I must do more to bring us all together, now.

There is a spiritual meaning to all gender variant people that have lived and will live. It is likely much deeper than I have come to understand over time. In my lifetime I have constantly noticed gender variant people in my world and I have been called to them like someone gets called to the mountains. Ok, so I was called to the mountains, too! (Giggles) Some of us don’t really understand why we are called to this identity, we just know its deep down inside like a bubble that must come up! The reason is many-sided I am sure but the reason I have come to understand is that the future of all humanity depends on the abandonment of gender roles. We must abandon gender roles because it hurts everyone! It forces us into a box we don’t necessarily need to be in and in that we are revolutionaries. We are here to change how humanity interacts in the world. Its a necessary evolution for the human race. I am sure there are other deep reasons for our existence and I would love to hear them! I know for me this means that regardless of what religion has ever done to any of us or our ancestors, that today we are all meant to develop our own relationship with the divine. Authentically and completely ours as we see it, know it deeply to be real and meaningful, and to follow that as our guide. Wouldn’t it be fantastic if we all came together as a group and validated each other, supported each other, and listened and learned from each other? As a group of authentic beings to spiritually support each others growth and yes we likely will influence each other. I think we are supposed to influence each other, yet right now it comes out as control and submission. Eventually, we will evolve away from that dynamic into a more harmonious connection. I believe gender variant people are here to walk that path, to carve it out of our future. Why gender variant people? Simple. Many of us are truly connected to our most authentic selves, and in that its harder to control us. The more you walk authentically the less likely you are to tolerate or allow manipulative control tactics, even the subtle ones. Then what happens is that forces the controller to re-evaluate their own behaviors, therefore becoming more authentic. When you’re authentic you become aware of what really resonates with you and what doesn’t. Even if something doesn’t resonate with you, its easy to shrug it off as ‘not for me’ and move on. So YES we can influence each other and YES in a healthy intentional way!

As I walk my own path I am sometimes overwhelmed, sometimes I trip and fall, sometimes I even step off, sometimes I celebrate and dance, giggle and laugh. Sometimes I cry and scream and sometimes I whimper in pain. Other days I smile and breathe in peace, some days I even breathe OUT peace. All the while I feel held by something bigger than myself, something larger than life, larger than the universe itself. The divine to me is all energies together and none of them singularly. To me, the divine embodies all I need in the world. When I connect to the divine, I get clearly what I am to do next. When it turns out a mistake, I ask for the lesson I needed to learn and inevitably I find it. Simply because we are all divine, we are all connected to a whole that is divine and in that we all deeply know exactly what is good for us. When I ask the divine, ok the book is out there, now what? Promote it & create retreats for your readers! A safe place for them to be them – and explore their spirituality in depth. Of course, I resist with “Who me?” and “Why me?” and I am reminded that there is no choice I must just keep moving forward.

When I do dive deep with another gender variant person I am often moved to tears of joy and release. It’s like something overcomes me when I connect with a gender variant person and I want to see them grow, succeed and bloom. I suppose that’s for all people I meet, regardless, I find deep satisfaction to hold the hand of a person looking to walk their most authentic path. It’s as honorable as holding the hand of a person on their death bed!

I want to dive deeper with other gender variant people and support each other on a deeply authentic and spiritual path. There is a strong chance that I might do a retreat, Costa Rica 2020 – specifically for Gender Variant or Questioning people. It feels scary, maybe more scary than sharing my personal story in my book yet I still feel pushed at it. Creating safe space to express authentically, creating a ceremony to help us truly integrate our own authentic spiritual path, and creating lifelong bonds with each other as a community of gender-variant people.

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Healthy Holistic Inspired Permanent Change Starting Transitions Uncategorized

A Holistic New Year Resolution

What-is-New-Year-resolution-300x300Its that time again!! What New Years Resolution are you making? “I will lose weight this year” – “I will quit smoking” – “I will do yoga regularly” “I will exercise” Every year hundreds of people make New Years resolutions they won’t keep. Most don’t keep their new resolution till the end of January and some of us MIGHT make it to 6 months. I struggled with this personally for many years. I made the resolution to quit smoking 4 years in a row before I finally did. My other favorite resolution was to lose weight, it rarely made it past Valentine’s Day. Eventually I did quit smoking and I lost weight after many years struggling. My changes started with New Year’s Resolutions – after years and years of failure I finally picked myself up and was successful. I finally began using New Year’s Resolutions as ways to change my lifestyle, slowly – year after year.

I know that many of us struggle with getting past spring and often make the same resolution every year. Sometimes I would even change after a failure and a couple of times I gave up before I started. I would say things like “Well this is the 4th year I will quit smoking” as I lit another cigarette. I would say “Well I obviously didn’t quit smoking so maybe this year I should lose weight.” I quit exercising because it seemed useless to exercise if you smoke cigarettes. Excuses were everywhere but really I just didn’t know what to do. I had no idea how to change these unhealthy habits I had picked up in my teens & twenties. I ate McDonald’s several times a week, I smoked almost a pack of cigarettes a day, and I would eat an entire birthday cake on a bad day.  Most of my time was spent on video games, TV, and unhealthy relationships with the internet. I was unhealthy inside, my family was unhealthy as a result, and my body was showing signs of wavering. I was barely 5′ and 250lbs, smoker, fast food consumer, sugar addict, a racing heart and heavy lungs. A doctor told me I was showing early signs of diabetes. My mental health was full of diagnosis psychiatrists would want to medicate as a result of my unhealthy lifestyle. When we live a life that doesn’t match our values we are easily met with depression, bi-polar, and anxiety – which can lead to more choices that don’t match our values. Its easy to get lost here, I understand, I did!

I was very lost, I felt very alone and I wanted to die. I was dark and grimm and I was happy to try to end my life. One last New Years Resolutions I was willing to make, I thought. One last resolution. This time I was serious, so deeply serious! I studied, I read books, I joined healthy websites. I managed to do it. With certain support systems in place and a counselor at my side I was able to create change. When spring happened and I had quit smoking I was so proud of myself I cried every time I talked about it. Then I spent the last 6 months of that year figuring out my weight loss. My resolution was a holistic one, “I would gain a more healthy and holistic lifestyle.” I have done it and still do it every year.

A Holistic New Years Resolution is only the beginning. There are many ways some of us make this fresh opportunity for ourselves even harder by simply setting ourselves up for failure by either making the resolution too hard to keep, not creating a clear plan, giving up, or some other self defeating behavior. Many of us give up even trying yet another New Year’s Resolution, so much it has become a joke on social media. I am here to offer a more positive outlook. A way. I want to serve as your counselor to help guide you through the first 6 weeks of your new habit. No charge. My gift to you!

Today, I take my New Year’s Resolutions very seriously! I want to help three people make a good plan for a Holistic New Years Resolution. Regardless of what change you choose we can create a plan together that will bring the success you need. We will create a goal together during our initial consultation. Then we will have 6 phone sessions where we will check in on how the changes are going, helping to guide you through the first six weeks. This is an incredible start to a new habit. In this process you will have learned the formula for the next habit you change. Leave you empowered with the ability to change your old not so healthy habits into healthy holistic habits that create healthy happy lifestyles.

Changing and creating new habits that are aligned with your holistic values can help relieve depression, give confidence, and inspire desired change. Together we will build you a plan of action for the whole year and a support system that works in your favor. The most important thing you need “A passionate desire to change” All of this at no financial cost except for your willingness to be interviewed about your experience. My intention is to help heal the world.

Everyone wants good health and our ability to end old unhealthy habits and create new healthier habits is our first steps to living a healthier lifestyle. Healthy holistic lifestyles are built one good habit at a time which leads to healthier happier lives for ourselves and those around us. Health is not overnight and many of us need support on these life changing journeys. The gentle guidance of an experienced counselor is what I offer. The struggle of the journey can be relieved with support, love, and gentle guidance. I am here. You are not alone. Let’s do this together!

~~~~Details about signing up here~~~~

Three people will be randomly selected on New Year’s Eve to receive this incredible offer from Hollis Taylor at AHolisticLifeForMe.com

Selected people will be contacted via email regarding getting started. If someone does not follow through on signing up, another person will be randomly selected.

SIGN UP HERE to be randomly selected for this New Year’s Offer.