What are you afraid of? When working with spirits, fear can play a big part in our experience. We need to be careful not to project because often it will be amplified. Spirits are often like mirrors, and often reflect what you’re holding. Also, I don’t recommend movies to be sources of education, as they are exaggerated amplification of the truth. It’s best to understand that our beliefs have a lot to do with our experience along with what emotions we are holding. If we can let go of fear and relax into a surrender you will find a smoother experience with spirits. Most spirits are not here to hurt you.
In most cases, there is a misunderstanding. Many spirits are lost in a space, they actually get caught in what I would call a vortex. They sort of bounce around your attic and eventually they begin to demand attention, for instance. Why they are stuck seems to be related to their death, sometimes because of wrongdoings or shock around their death. Many spirits are not INTENDING to disturb your sleep–it’s just that when humans are resting we can hear them better. Over time some spirits understand we hear them when we are relaxed, so they reach out for help at night. Many of these spirits can be helped to move on from whatever space they are haunting.
Having a strong sense of self seems to strengthen a person that is working with spirits–this person is often a Highly Sensitive Person or an empath. A strong sense of self seems to make them resistant and aware when spirits are present, the medium needs a strong sense of who they are, sensitive or not. So working on this within yourself is an important point. Some people have multiple expressions of themselves, and in those instances, those people can be very sensitive to being ‘possessed’. Now I am not talking about poltergeist here, I am talking about a spirit ‘standing into’ a body because they have some sort of message. These folks, people with multiple expressions of themself–have hidden talents to develop and can show real sensitivity working with spirits. Although I would recommend they work with someone that has a strong sense of self. These two make a great team when working with spirits. If your one of those people that has many shifts in your personality, I would suggest you find a good mentor.
Now if you have been working on your sense of self and feel confident in your ability to stand strong there are a few things to understand when working with spirits. First, I recommend a mentor, someone safe you can talk to about this. Someone that can help you unravel things you may encounter. There are not just spirits but you can easily confuse an emotional imprint with a spirit. So for instance, when I was in Hawaii, I kept getting called to a tiny graveyard that was mostly unused. We would drive by and I kept feeling a call. So one day we stopped. First, if I was more green I would have assumed it was a spirit but in reality, the spirit was simply calling me. Once I arrived the spirit backed off as I began to walk around with my senses open. I began to sense what was going on in the area. I realized there was actually an emotional imprint, from a mourning parent, that was sort of ‘jamming’ the vibrational field of the entire graveyard. There was a root to the energy and it was on the grave, that as I explored we discovered it was a child’s grave.
In this example, I was able to work with the energetic imprint that was highlighted by a spirit. Understand that human emotions are a powerful force. Have you ever walked into a room and the space felt weird or off somehow? Even though you didn’t see or hear anything, you just sensed that the energy is off in the room. Then later find out someone was arguing or other heavy emotions were in the room? This is an emotional imprint and quite different than a spirit. These imprints are left by human emotion being expressed and can be cleared with some incense and intentions, music can help, too.
A spirit tends to change while you’re there. I explained in the example that a spirit was reaching out to me when I would drive by and then once I DID stop, it pulled back. Then it didn’t have much to offer other than ‘look around’. Spirits can often be heard, smelled, seen, and even communicated with, hence my blog series here. Spirits, if welcomed, can also stand within a person’s body temporarily. We sometimes called this possession but that word is so loaded I tend to avoid it. There are some cases that a spirit will step into a body where the human has ‘checked out’ or tends to be ‘wide open’. In those cases, these people had no or little defense, and the spirit just stepped in. In most cases, the spirit is looking to get out of the vortex they are in and so they step into a body as a vehicle for getting out. Sometimes they might be trying to communicate and get someone’s attention. It really depends on the situation, the humans involved, and even the spirit in question. This is why I say that if you’re strong in yourself, you avoid dissociation and often stay in the present it won’t be a problem. If your super sensitive and ‘wide open’ or sometimes ‘check out’ you may want to be sure you avoid situations with spirits or simply work with someone with experience, that can help.
Either way, regardless of your energetic field I highly recommend a conversation with your closest guide and guides. So far in my experience very sensitive folks often have numerous guides and if they ‘use’ them they are more protected. Guides like to give you free will, so they want you to invite them to protect you or whatever other requests you might have. If you work with your spirit guide you will find that you can empower them, that you can actually request them to keep spirits from ‘stepping into’ you. My spirit guide is my father, so he will have me feel his hand on my shoulder, which is familiar and comforting to me. When a spirit is near me or wanting to communicate he will get my attention, first. Then he will allow for communication and based on the situation and my ability to stay present I decide if I allow them to ‘step in’. Although ‘stepping in’ is not usually what they want. If you communicate with them they often need help, they ask questions and they want to move on. Some of them are looking for someone that died 40yrs ago or looking for a relative that has moved away. Once you figure out why the spirit is lingering and what they are looking for you can help them solve the problem, most times. Sometimes you just need to verify their dead, and moments later they dissipate and no longer is their energy lingering. Yes, it can be THAT easy.
Speaking out loud is very powerful. So be careful what you say aloud because it will count triple with spirits. In this same energy realize that doubters and questioners can bring an energy of doubt, completely demolishing our self-confidence. So be careful who is around you and what they are holding. Also, be aware of what you’re saying. So if you welcome the spirit to you, then simply say that out loud.
Once at a very loud event around All Souls Day, a spirit wanted to ‘step into’ me. They had figured out I was a medium and was pulled to me. I didn’t allow for this at first for several reasons. First, I needed to assess the doubters in the space and I knew this person had a reputation as a human to be manipulative and out of integrity. I checked in with my guides about the safety of it and my father, my spirit guide, helped me understand that she wanted to dance. Before she died she had lived in a wheelchair for a long time and wanted to dance around the fire with everyone. So after some negotiation, I agreed. Since it was a loud environment it was fairly easy for me to speak out loud to this spirit in the negotiations so I felt safe. I said, “Ok we can dance around the fire a few times with your staff” and “Ok I will let you stay with me as I tap dance.” and my powerful “When I put my hat on, you can no longer possess me.” I learned something about this experience, that often dead people don’t carry their humanness – except to remind YOU of who they are. They are not likely to do the things they did as humans, only enough to validate the human they used to be.
The other thing about spirits is if your feeling overwhelmed you can step back and light some incense, it can help you feel more in control. I don’t recommend one type because it depends on the culture of the spirit your working with. When working with Amish spirits I use ‘clove oil’ but when working with old Europeans I use ‘rosemary’. Think about the potential spirit your working with. Palo Santo can be helpful but it works best with cultures that have it naturally with them, using that on an Amish spirit will likely confuse things further.
Touching the Earth with your bare feet or hands can help a lot to stop anything that feels overwhelming. Also, if you make an agreement like when I am wearing my hat, no ‘standing in’ can really set up a safe space that you’re in control of. This way you feel safer since when a spirit stands in you have an experience of witnessing yourself doing something. So its not like your not aware of what is happening, although sometimes many of us find it hard to remember what happened. This is another reason to work with someone directly if possible, having a witness to your experience could help you gain huge knowledge. Then simply putting your hat back on will stop the spirit and you can bathe yourself in the smoke of a burning herb to energetically cleanse and relax when you’re done.
Keep in mind that when you do this kind of work, a lot, you tend to mark yourself as a medium. In time, you form an aura around you that pulls spirits to you for communication. So it’s like wearing a badge that pulls spirits towards you, spirits are looking for more grounded mediums willing to communicate and help them with their mission. Most spirits are not here to hurt you, or anyone for that matter. Most spirits can’t hurt you, it’s a projected and perceived fear stemming from humans. Instead of leading with fear, I highly recommend leading with curiosity. Be willing to be delightfully surprised!
Tips to stay protected and in yourself when working with spirits:
-Stay present in your body, use exercises that help with this like meditation
-Use incense based on the culture of the spirit
-Ask another medium/exorcist to work with you
-Have Strong Boundaries and work with your Spirit Guide
-Be willing to be delightfully surprised, don’t allow fear to take over
-Avoid doubt and disbelievers, they destroy your confidence
-Speak out-loud with clarity like ‘I am willing to hear you but you may not step in’
-Lead with Curiosity. Ask the Spirit Questions
-Wear protective totems from your dead ancestors